The psychology of building good habits
“How do I start doing this?” Is a question that I am often asked by clients. One client wants to start eating healthy foods again, another client wants to play her violin more – if we boil this down both are talking about habits. Why is starting a new habit so damn difficult? Well, I hope to answer this question here while also providing you with some suggestions on what you can do to begin that good habit you’ve been wanting to start.
Most psychologists agree that the essential ingredients to habit formation are repetition, automaticity, and context. But what does this mean for you?
Simply put; to start a new (hopefully healthy!) habit you need to plan for it. Unfortunately, we cannot will good habits into existence (boy, I wish). But what is important is to visualize what you desire – is it to eat healthier, is it to exercise more, is it to send more thoughtful notes to friends?
Additionally, think about who you are and more importantly who you want to be. For example, I want to be a person who eats nutritious food, who moves their body, or I want to be someone who connects with my loved ones. Your plan should align with who you want to be and what you value.
CONTEXT
Let’s start with your context, or an easier way to think of this is your when and where. Try not to make this difficult but rather build your new habit into a place and time that is easily remembered. For example, if I want to eat healthier maybe I’d start with breakfast at my kitchen table and describe exactly what that means. For breakfast (eaten between 8:00AM-9:00AM), I will eat a Siggi’s yogurt, a bowl of fruit (berries, preferably), and an egg (scrambled) with a cup of coffee and water at my kitchen table. In terms of your context, make sure you are making it easy to engage in your healthy behavior. If you are planning to eat healthier make sure to buy healthy options and not fill your pantry with sugary or salty snacks. If you are wanting to move your body more, opt for the stairs every time you are out instead of taking the elevator. It seems small, but your environment influences you more than you know.
AUTOMATICITY
Now this is the part a lot of people miss. You want to make this new behavior automatic. Literally, you want to be able to engage in this behavior without having to think about (like brushing your teeth). To be able to do this you need to do the behavior every day consistently.
To help with this, try using a visual. For example, to help form a habit (doing more kind acts) in our family, we bought a mason jar and a whole bunch of colorful pom poms. We decided that each time someone performed a kind act that the person could place a pom pom in the mason jar. This helped motivate everyone because there was a visual that we could see every day. It really felt so good to plop a pom pom into the mason jar, not kidding you. Plus, it was satisfying to see our progress as more pom poms filled the jar.
REPETITION
A lot of people make the mistake of saying they will try to do their new habit once a week or once a month. For a habit to truly form you need to repeat the behavior frequently, at least once a day (if not more), is optimal. Most experts agree that it takes about 10 weeks to form a solid habit. That’s seventy days of repetition of your habit.
Lastly, people often get discouraged when they fail in completing their desired habit. Remember that every day is a new day and that it is never too late to start anew. Perhaps you need to visualize the end goal or think whether this goal aligns with who you truly desire to be? Where does this habit fit in with your values? Taking a moment to think this through can be helpful in the long run. Plus, don’t forget to use visual cues for when you complete your habit. It really does feel good to see your hard work being completed.
Written by: Dr. Tamara Oppliger, PhD
Clinical Psychologist at Pivotal Therapy Practice
6/23/2026