Being uncomfortable is okay, too
In this day and age, we want things to be easy, comfortable, and exactly what we want when we want it. Discomfort for many is associated with “bad” and that if you feel discomfort, then you must stop doing whatever is at the root of that discomfort.
Unfortunately, life does not fit nicely into this mold and discomfort inevitably arises. But we have gotten very good at avoiding the uncomfortable whether through our screens, isolating tendencies, or by simply by not ever opting in. Many clients I talk to think that being uncomfortable = bad. This comes up when talking about pain, anxiety, or stress. I often get the question; how can I get rid of it?
My answer to this usually causes them consternation and incredulity. I simply ask, why? Why do you want to get rid of anxiety or stress? These facets are part of life and (sorry to break it to you) we cannot get rid of them (well not completely). The response is usually despair or chuckling depending on whether they are in the frame of mind to accept that statement. Afterwards, I ask how does anxiety, pain, or stress help you? For a minute they sit thinking…Can this be helpful to me? And in smaller doses (not debilitating or overwhelming ones) stress, anxiety, and even pain can be informative and helpful to us. For example, some stress can motivate people to act; anxiety and fear can save your life when crossing a street (hello car!) and pain can be a warning sign that something is not right.
Being uncomfortable may be just that … uncomfortable, but if you only lead a life of comfort that means you are not trying anything new; you are not growing. For many of my clients growth, change, and wellness are what they are after – this is why they started therapy to begin with. They are unhappy with the state of their relationships, they are unhappy with how isolated they have become, they are unhappy with their inability to relax, rest, and enjoy their lives. If you want to change that means you will encounter discomforts.
So maybe it is time to get uncomfortable and take a step towards the change you desire. Maybe it means calling up a friend and sharing how you are (the real version) or going to that NA or AA meeting you know you should attend but causes you anxiety…whatever it is, accept the discomfort and it may take you further than you think. And remember, you may need to accept it daily as we are after all creatures of habit.
Written by: Dr. Tamara Oppliger, PhD
Clinical Psychologist at Pivotal Therapy Practice
8/18/2026